Tales of a Bizarre Terrorist Banshee

Wow, there are times when you think to yourself as a parent, "Hmm...I believe we have entered the terrible twos." And then there are times when you reflect on those times and realize that you were dead wrong, because the current times...you have no words for. Terrible twos doesn't even begin to explain it.

Fortunately the good Lord gives these creatures, err, I mean children (or in my book Bizarre Terrorist Banshees/BTBs for short) a heavy dose of imagination. This serves not only to keep the BTBs exhausted parents on their toes, but also breaking out into spontaneous fits of hilarious laughter--lucky for the BTB.

I shall attempt to put words to the past few days in order to aide other unsuspecting caretakers in identifying a BTB should it emerge from your otherwise normal child. I shall also beg, plead, and weep in an attempt to extract advice from others who have endured the wrath of this peculiar creature.

When we moved Nehemiah into his big boy bed in the fall, I expected that he would get up and wander around his room, and I wasn't sure exactly how to keep that from happening. Then we tried it, and no joke, he would not get off of his bed unless we came and got him. He would yell for us, but would wait patiently until we arrived for his extrication. This delightful turn of events is no more. He has discovered his freedom--in a BIG way!

I should also explain that we are in the throes of potty training, which entails, among other things, lessons on how to undress and redress.

In the last few weeks, Nehemiah has started waking up in the middle of the night. He is not groggy. He is up like he would be in the morning. It started out that he would call for us. One of us (usually Ben, or Adelynne will wake up screaming, because she immediately knows when my presence is missing) would go to his room and put him back to bed. Then we started to cut his naps down--now he takes a nap maybe twice a week and has quite time in his room the other days.

Last week, the moon was particularly bright, which causes Maltby to be a bit insane--he insists on going out to chase the Wererabbit. He barks and is very noisy--so Ben would also get up to let the dog out, and he started noticing that Nehemiah's bedroom light was on--at like 2 am. He was quietly in there playing or looking at books, but not sleeping. The next day, he would be very tired and irritable. We figured he would eventually get tired enough that he would quit the habit. A few nights later Ben came out to let Maltby out, and all of the lights in the house were on, and Nehemiah was standing buck-naked, banging on the heater, and yelling for Ben. It was so unexpected, and didn't happen again for awhile.

Then, this morning, after a glorious, uninterrupted night's sleep, Ben got up to find Nehemiah, with very poopy diaper removed, and naked, who had stepped in his poo, and was now jumping and dancing on the couch. We were fortunate that there wasn't more around, but it was a little shocking. Ben handled it very well--Nehemiah is quite fortunate that I was nursing Adelynne and not getting up. I don't do so well in the mornings--I'm definitely a night owl--I would have been quite upset, but Ben was so patient. I was very proud of him, because it was a better reaction, considering that Nehemiah is in the middle of so much learning--I don't think he did anything purposely, but my gut reaction wouldn't have taken all of those variables into account.

Anyway, with the midnight mayhem, we are exhausted, including Nehemiah, which results in much more normal "terrible two" behavior during the day. We've been trying to be more consistent with the Dear BTB as far as discipline is concerned, cutting nap time, transitioning from the high chair, potty training, etc. I think it is all just a bit much, so I am hoping when some of these skills are mastered that life will slow down a bit and get back to something resembling normality!

Whoa--a pregnant man

I don't really know how to phrase how I feel about this; I feel sort of offended and shocked all at once. I wanted to watch Oprah and see the scoop--though I do believe she puts a certain spin on stories (sometime one I agree with and sometimes not). The story is here.

I feel that Thomas means well (though is very confused), but this is wrong on so many levels to me. Two of his neighbors were on Oprah to show their support, and George, the man, said that it was "sexually dyslexic" for him. I believe that God has endowed us with those gut reactions for a reason. It is obviously not natural, and we would be foolish to gloss over that and explain it away.

Please share what you think; I'm intrigued to hear what you have to say.

Our Business Idea

I have to say I am naturally just a little suspicious of people stealing ideas (just because it seems like such an easy and natural thing to do--imitation being the sincerest form of flattery and all), but I think my friend Susan and I came up with a good one for our fledgling (meaning just conceptual at this point) WAHM business.

I have told a few people about it, and I find that they are excited and contribute some rockin' ideas, so I'm breaking down to blog about what we've settled on for now. :) AND I would LOVE some feedback in the form of ideas, if there is a good market, and business start up suggestions--because I know some of the moms reading this blog have so much more experience than I do with these kind of things...

First off, our credentials. I am a certified Elementary School teacher, and Susan is an English and Drama double major. Throw those two heads together, and what came out? An idea for making Imaginative Play Birthday Kits!

What the?

I'll explain...

We think that there is a market amongst parents who A) live in a more rural area with fewer places to go have a party, or live in a city but are tired of the current "birthday circuit" B) Are a little tired of over commercialization with character licensed everything C) Want an exciting birthday party and D) Would like the party favors to be more "green"--something a child will take home and use over and over again...not break in the car on the way home and never look at again. And, oh yeah, a lot less plastic. :)

Anyway, we have several (okay, like 20) theme ideas that we will need to narrow down, but I'll toss out a few...

Slumber Party Kit: Pre-cut fleece squares so that each girl can tie her own blanket to take home, and some kind of pillowcase decorating activity. Sleep masks that we make will be included, and possibly cake ideas, and recipes for facial masks, etc.

Pirates: Felt pirate hats, a different colored beard for all pirate boys (Red Beard, Black Beard, Blue Beard, etc) ;) , and braids for pirate girls, directions and props for a "Walk the Plank" game, etc.

We are hoping to find things to make that are relatively easy but that spark imagination and can be put altogether to make one original and fun theme party! We have a few themes for girls only, boys only, and coed, and even the beginnings of a Socially Conscious Party where the activities are made from Recyclables--and we follow the 3R's principle. :)

We may add story starters to get the ball rolling, and I have some thoughts about networking with some other WAHM businesses to provide themed invitations, Parent Birthday Party Survival Kits, etc.

So, what do you think? Is it doable? How much would you be willing to pay for such a thing (ie: could we recoup our material and labor costs)? Any fabulous ideas you are willing to share? What size kit would be best (I was thinking one for 6 kids as a base and then add a per kid fee on top of that for extras)? Can you buy accessories and things (like a roll of caution tape) and legally sell them as part of the kit? Or do you have to create everything yourself to be within the law? Just a bunch of the things running around in my head currently. Do you know of any good "start your own business" resources (books, websites, blogs, etc.)?

Thanks for your thoughts!

Nighty night

Our bedtime routine is pretty standard. Put on the pjs, turn down the lights and on the night light, read a few stories, sing a few lullabies, say bedtime prayers and nurse to sleep. Every 2 or 3 nights there is a bath thrown in before the routine. Anybody else have anything to spice up a bedtime routine in a mellow way?

I mostly use the one my parents used with my brother and I, but I thought there might be other tried and true traditions worth throwing in. Plus I have been a little low on comments lately, and I have been wondering if people are actually out there! ;)

I'd love to hear how you were put to bed/how you put your kiddos down for the night. What was good? What would you skip?

Dead End

Does anyone have any suggestions on bedtime for a 7 month old? It seems to be taking longer and longer to get Nehemiah to sleep. He starts shrieking shrilly whenever I put him in his crib and leave the room. It is really cutting into marriage time not to mention wearing me out! I have a tough time handling over an hour of crying with interrupted times of comforting. :( I just want him to sleep and sleep well! We have a bit of a routine, wherein I change his diaper and put on his pjs, plug in his night light, turn off his room light, swaddle him up, nurse him while singing two songs, and then saying bedtime prayers. When he seems asleep and finished eating, I put him in his crib and head out. I'm not really sure what else to try. Oh, here's a cute picture of he and his favorite lovey all swaddled up for naptime :)

Feeling Crunchy?

"I do believe that I am turning into a Granola Mama!" I say as my cloth diapers are in the wash and my butternut and acorn squashes are cooking away and softening up to be pureed into baby food. :) Growing up, I guess I thought I would be pretty convenience driven, but 2 things are the primary cause for my new found crunch--#1 these things are better for our environment than "disposable society" and #2 they are better at saving me money! Both of which make me feel like they are better stewardship decisions for our family, especially since I am staying at home, so I have the time.

I tell you, Nehemiah is going to be eating better than us! Today Nehemiah actually kept some sweet potatoes in his system instead of raspberry-ing them all over the place. Baby steps, I say, baby steps!

Guilty confession time? Sometimes I sneak a bite of his pureed sweet potatoes...Dang! Those things are yummy! I'll probably try the squash out too. Maybe it will help me start to eat a little healthier. Half for the baby and half for me.

That would help out with that live a healthier lifestyle resolution I made. Here are some other helps I'm going to try for the exercising portion of that resolution. I am going to try to remember that I am doing this for my health, not necessarily so that my body shape will change. In the past I have become so frustrated that I am not showing the progress I want that I have given up, so this seems logical. And a neat idea I'm going to try is to write when I exercise down on the calendar, and stick $1 in a jar each time. Then at the end of the month, whatever I have earned is fun money! It can't be more than $30 a month, and my suspicion is that is will be more like $20, but you've got to start somewhere. I'm hoping I can stay motivated with this plan. Any other good tips from my peanut gallery?

Code talker

This morning Ben and I had every intention of waking up early (6:30am) to get ready for the early service at church. One "snooze" later, and it was 7:10--Ben had mistakenly turned off the alarm in his groggy stumbling. I would never have been the one to wake up first if my "Mommy radar" hadn't sounded. Nehemiah was stirring in his room, and when I saw the clock, I kicked it into high gear. We had about 40 minutes to get ready--so I went to church with greasy hair and static cling, but sometimes you just have to get your priorities right!

Anyway, we went into church and sat near the back. Personally, I love to sit up front. I can see the song lyrics well, and it helps me stay alert during the rest of the service, but those days are officially over for now, and besides, my little alarm clock ensures that I don't get drowsy! I particularly enjoy church services during the advent season, because I LOVE to sing, and I adore Christmas songs. There is something about them that encapsulate the miracle of Christ's coming and wrap me up in warm memories all at once. So, I belted out the songs while Nehemiah flirted with the couple behind us. I suppose I don't need to tell you this, but they were enamored. I mean check this kid out in his church clothes...who wouldn't be?
That is until our pastor said the code words. Yeah, you know the ones...pray and sermon. Those are Nehemiah code for impersonate the Tasmanian Devil as loudly as possible. I swear anytime it got quite in the church, Nehemiah filled it up with joyful noise! A few weeks ago, Daddy taught him the "raspberry" sound. So it went something like this..."WA-A-A *raspberrry* YAAA-A-A *raspberrry* YEE-AA-AAA WOO-WA-A-A MAA GOOOO *raspberrry*" Now, I am all for joyful noise, but it can be a little distracting! So Ben and I took turns walking him around the rest of the church. He got to see the mailboxes, the coat racks, the missionary support board, the shiny Christmas tree, and all kinds of other interesting things. We each caught about half of the sermon, which makes a whole, right? I feel bad for the other people around us.

For those of you who read this blog, what do you think the most appropriate thing to do is? I would love to sit and listen to the whole sermon with my son and husband, but I don't want to detract from my community's worship experience? And yet, I don't feel comfortable leaving my kiddo in the nursery yet. What are your ideas? I'm eager to know! Help a sister out!