Wednesday, February 4, 2009

No Room in the Inn!

So yesterday I went to a prenatal appointment, and I told my doctor I was pretty sure I was full up! He said he was just going to say that he felt some more room in there--ha! What does he know?!

Anyway, today, we found out just how much room there'll have to wait for it though, because it's kind of a long story!

After dinner tonight, we gave Nehemiah a small chocolate covered Rice Krispy treat--which he loves, but could not eat, because his diaper rash is on it's way back and he was uncomfortable enough to need to be changed. We promised he could have the treat when he was finished, and he complied sweetly--a nice happening!

After the change, he threw a ball for Maltby a few times, and then, while Maltby was playing with Ben, I made good our promise and gave Nehemiah his treat. I looked up to see Maltby making a beeline for us, and knew he was up to no good. He snatched Nehemiah's treat right out of his hand! Nehemiah was shocked and looked up with big eyes, as if he were Cindy Lou-Who from The Grinch and his tree had just been stuffed up the chimney. I noticed this look for a second before I pounced.

I yelled, "No Maltby!" And leaped into action, running after him. He proceeded to drop the treat and run, and I lunged forward, tackling all 85 pounds of him to the ground. I grabbed his snout, told him no, and tossed him outside.

I came back inside the house to find Ben laughing hysterically. I guess he thought Nehemiah was throwing a ball for Maltby again, and it took him a minute to recognize the situation for what it was; his 8 month pregnant wife taking out his sneaky dog, in protection of his innocent son, in a matter of seconds. You see, I don't mind being pregnant, but, I am very pregnant, and Ben hasn't seen me move this fast in some time. Apparently, neither had the dog.

We were laughing together about the whole thing as I cut Nehemiah another treat and threw out the dog slobber coated one. I snagged one for myself also. Ben started walking away to start on his homework, and said something about Maltby realizing too late that he had miscalculated my abilities, and scrambling as fast as he could in his head about where his mistake was, as he chucked the treat and fled. Then the awe that he must have felt as I "took him down to China town," as Ben said.

That was it--I lost it! I was laughing so hard that I inhaled a Rice Krispy and started to choke. Not a normal kind of choke, but you know, the, I'm about to die kind of choke. I signaled Ben to come back--just in case I needed life saving efforts. It was then that I realized I was not to die of lack of oxygen tonight--just embarassment. You see, while one is 8 months pregnant, full of supper and water, and choking on Rice Krispy shrapnel, the amount of space left in one's body is not enough to hold what is in one's bladder!

Try surviving choking, calming your son, and realizing that you have started to wet your pants, and have no control over stopping it all at once! I eventually made it to the bathroom with Nehemiah running after me, and when I came out, I found my sweet husband chuckling to himself as he scrubbed the otoman I'd been perched upon. What a guy! I apologized, but he just grinned up at me, and said, "what could you do? At least it wasn't because you were angry, because then I would have told you to calm down, but you were laughing, and what could you do?"

Why is it that I feel at liberty to share this information with everyone and their mom via my blog? I may never know, but it is therapeutic somehow.


angiesparkles said...

Great story, I'm glad you shared! Love you!

PS we need belly pictures!

Zoe said...

Poor sweetie! Hysterical story, though. I wish Ben had been holding a camera when you took out Maltby. There'd be a picture for Adelynne's baby book!

Anonymous said...

Hilarious. I have to say, after your posting about Ben a week or so ago, it only seems fair that you post this story about yourself. Poor Maltby, let's hope that he is better at learning his lesson than Cindy was.


Anonymous said...

I have not laughed so hard in a long time... thanks for sharing!! It was just what I needed after a LONG day of school and conferences.

~April H.

Anonymous said...

I don't know if you could possibly ever understand how badly i needed that laugh today. I thank you for telling us an embarrassing story, because lets face it, in our resume's of life there are things that we all have left out like peeing on the couch because of laughing too hard, or other things. And it goes to show how comfortable you are with your resume of life. Hope you are well, and take it can't pop too soon lady!
love ya